The computing world was hurled into turmoil last month when IBM suddenly announced the arrival of the revolutionary Kronikk range. Have they set new standards in PC power, or unleashed a monster that will track them down one by one and feed on their naughty bits? Janet Boil-Sneck finds out....
Time was when PC’s were designed and constructed solely with performance and price in mind. Looks and style were relegated to the back of the class. No longer!
The first thing that strikes you about the Kronikk is its dashing good looks. The butch masculinity of its angular lines is perfectly blended with the sleek feminine greyness of the case finish to produce a truly beautiful object - a real work of art. Critics have already discussed plans to hang pictures of the Kronikk in all major art galleries instead of less attractive, more classical works. The Kronikk range consists of 3 base models; The Kronikk Mogul is the standard version.
Built around the Cobalt Blue-Movie Multimedia Processor running at an impressive 120 Kph, the Mogul cuts through number-crunching tasks like a scalpel through a baby’s belly. The supplied integral monitor is a 15" Bulgier, Rounder Multi-flicker beauty with controls for both Power On AND Power Off. A wide range of SCSI-3 hard disk drives are available, but do not function when connected to the Kronikk’s microphone socket. As with all Kronikk systems, the Mogul is supplied with IBM’s new ecologically friendly "RealMouse", which requires very little food. Unfortunately, the RealMouse supplied with our test system was squashed in the post, so we were unable to try it out.. The video card fitted in the Mogul is a pathetic one.
The most expensive of the three models is the flagship, the Kronikk Bismarck. This enhanced system sports built-in modem, quad-speed CD-ROM drive and Sound Blaster 16 compatible user manual. These features may not appeal to some users, however, as they are all inaccessible from the exterior of the machine, limiting there use in some obscure situations. The top-of-the-range Kronikk also comes complete with Epson’s new printing thoroughbred, the Press 2000.
Epson have added the personal touch to desktop printing by introducing a system where the computer user simply shows the material which is to be printed to the Press 2000 operator, who then etches it onto a lead plate and prints the desired number of copies. Speeds of up to 3 pages per minute have been achieved with the Press 2000, although the first copy of a page can take anything up to five hours to prepare.
The least costly model in the Kronikk range is the Kronikk Speck, which is a 1K ZX81 in a big grey box. I put it to IBM that most PC users would find the computing power of such a machine lacking. An IBM representative told me, "We have carried out extensive research which indicates that many customers value the inclusion of a slightly lower-specification model in any range of PC systems to cater for limited budget. In any event, we have plans to include a special ‘SuperTurbo’ button on Speck models which will increase the perceived speed of the systems by placing the user in stasis for a period from three to fourteen years." The Speck is currently the only model of Kronikk available to Earth-based customers.
To cater for game-players, IBM have released the optional KACS Kronikk Advanced Control System, which boasts an impressive number of programmable buttons and cooly-hats to suit even the most expert Lemmings virtuoso. The operating system supplied is the new 32-bit Kronikk DOS. Since it is only 32 bits, the entire system can easily be downloaded into memory for faster operation.
One of the many ingenious features that IBM code-wizards have introduced with K32-DOS is Crash Manager (TM), which allows users to schedule system lock-ups to occur at times when the least work is being done, so minimalizing data loss
Prices for Kronikk systems start at 14 pence. Options include a greyer box, an atomic uninteruptable power supply and a set of mains cables (as standard, the Kronikk systems are powered by internal petrol generators.)
All in all, the Kronikk is the embodiment of style and finesse, but despite its un-matched good looks it is a steaming pile of dung.
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