Micro-Experts in a top-secret Intel laboratory have at last captured the much squealed-about Pentium bug this month!
The scientist responsible for tracking down the bug, Doctor M. Circuit, spoke to us about the moment when he first realised the he had the mischievous mite cornered;
"We have known for some months that the bug usually lives in the floating point unit of Pentium 90 chips, not straying too far for fear of being spotted.
We tried leaving pieces of dead flesh near the FPU to lure the beast out into the open, but it wasn’t fooled! We were beginning to worry, but one of our pretty young researchers, Ted Nipples, dreamt up the idea of shutting off power to the FPU, so forcing the bug to head towards the bus gate logic in search of light. I was waiting for it with a bug-trap.
Suddenly, it emerged! It was horrible! Me and my colleagues threw up, but I managed to close the trap and we transferred the ugly creature to Intel’s interrogation complex. I’ll never forget the evil look of vicious hatred on the demonic face of the...." Dr. Circuit went on and on for ages. Nothing else that he said was interesting at all.
Despite the success of Circuit’s team in rounding up many of the Pentium bugs, it is feared that some individuals, fleeing from their captors, may have migrated to other computer systems, including several Cray supercomputers. Some analysts believe that even IBM’s latest beauty, the Kronikk, may not have escaped the Bug’s wrath. When we asked him about these new Bug threats, a spokesman for the International Society of Butchers claimed ignorance, spouting, "I don’t know what you are going on about." However, recent photographic evidence brought to us by our own correspondent in Turkey would seem to prove that the bug is still at large.
Intel’s managing director’s housekeeper, Miss Emily Knee, told Plonker, "The Bug cannot be totally eradicated until the queen has been found and shot."
It is widely believed that the queen Bug is hiding somewhere inside the cavity inside Bill Gates’ head.
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