VIRTUAL ANUS

PLONKER sent Angus Sheephugger to Florida recently to delve into the Virtual Anus, the latest Cyber-Tool created by virtuality whizzkids, Proboscis Inc. This is what he found out....

Angus Sheephugger prepares to try out the Virtual Anus prototype.

"Hooked up to the Cyber-Suit, I eagerly awaited the activation of the prototype Virtual Anus module. The VA, as it’s affectionately called by Proboscis staff, will eventually be fitted to the company’s cybernetic masterpiece, Amadeus the Android. Currently, the VA unit is controlled remotely from a hi-tech console elsewhere in the Proboscis building, but is hoped that eventually Amadeus will be able to operate his new rectal region himself.

Addition of the VA will leave Amadeus looking almost human.

Amadeus’ designers are confident that once the VA is in place. it will hardly be possible to tell the robotic man from a real one!

Imagine my disappointment when I was told that I couldn’t even see the VA prototype due to an anonymous tip off to Proboscis technicians that the complex VA control console may be infected by the infamous Pentium Bug! (See article in this issue - Ed.)

A Proboscis expert operates the Virtual Anus console. Has the system fallen prey to the Pentium Bug?

Fortunately, the talented Plonker art team produced an illustration that could possibly be a totally accurate representation of the real thing! I only hope that I get the chance to find out for sure very soon."

An artist’s impression of the new VA.

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