Stupid Quotations

So long as any amount shall remain unpaid under this note, the Borrower covenants and promises to that Bank that the borrower will not permit or suffer to exist any of the following conditions: death of the borrower.

We're not afraid of challenges. It's like we always say: if you want to go out in the rain, be prepared to get burned.

How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.

Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier.

This is no longer a slum neighbourhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time.

We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather.

Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.

Sure the body count in this movie bothers me, but what are you gonna do? It's what everybody likes. At least its not an awful body count--it's a fun body count.

Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

It was pretty good. Even the music was nice.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

What good is the moon if you can't buy or sell it?

I think "immoral" is probably the wrong word to use...I prefer the word "unethical."

The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height.

The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Our strength is that we don't have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don't have any real strengths.

All I was doing was appealing for an endorsement, not suggesting you endorse it.

It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another.

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them.

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.

I wanted all my ducks in a row so if we did get into a posture we could pretty much slam-dunk this thing and put it to bed.

To forcibly remove a politician from office, one has to meet a much higher standard of dishonesty.

We shall reach greater and greater platitudes of achievement.

Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.

Ordinary rape and murder just doesn't make it anymore. It's much better to have ultra-violence, chainsaw massacres, X-rated Draculas, and continents sinking into the sea with the entire population lost, at the very least.

Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.

I find it interesting how we get carried away by the dogma a-la-mode.

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.

Life is very important to Americans.

We apologise for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.

If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.

It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor.

The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games.

Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it.

Keep a stiff upper chin.

This book has too much plot and not enough story.

You've got to take the sour with the bitter.

We're overpaying him but he's worth It..

Don't pay any attention to the critics--don't even ignore them.

I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.

If you don't disagree with me, how will I know I'm right?

A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Why only twelve?

Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble Cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars.

Please deposit your valuables in the management.

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?

Secretaries for openings in college administrative areas. Good typing, word processing helpful. Able to interfere with faculty, staff, and students.

Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity.

You will find it a distinct help if you know and look as if you know what you are doing.

Please provide the date of your death.

If people get a kick out of running down pedestrians, you have to let them do it.

Cheered by their words with an altogether more positive attitude to boxing...I found myself recalling the words of Marlin Brando in On the Waterfront, "I could have been a bartender."

Four people were killed, one seriously, and eight more received slight injuries.

All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium.

Most of my clichés aren't original.

He was probably our greatest living painter -- until he died.

I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.

And now, will y'all stand and be recognised?

This is unparalyzed in the state's history.

Mattie's Restaurant and Yoghurt Palace, "An alternative to Good Eating"

The people don't take baths and they don't speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?

People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage?

Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.

No one wants to say the sky is falling, but in this instance I am afraid the emperor has no clothes. Despite Herculean efforts by the Council and Council staff, we are still only dealing with the tip of the iceberg.

All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.

I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.

I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.

We've been working on the basics because, basically, we've been having trouble with the basics.

It is beyond my apprehension.

We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover.

I didn't know Onward Christian Soldiers was a Christian song.

This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important.

These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up.

Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.

The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose.

Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation.

And now the sequence of events in no particular order.

Seafood brought in by customers will not be entertained.

At present there are such goings-on that everything is at a standstill.

P.S. If you do not receive this, of course it must have been miscarried; therefore I beg you to write and let me know.

I have nothing to say, and I'll only say it once.

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.

It's got lots of installation.

You don't tell us how to stage the news, and we don't tell you how to report it.

Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?

We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.

The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.

Q: What should I do if I find a rock in a bag of potatoes?
A: Simply return the rock to your grocer, who will give you the rock's weight in potatoes.

I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know the number of continents.

We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.

Well, that was a cliff-dweller.

I'm the consul for information, but I don't have any information.